Heartbreaking story of how Linus Ullmark almost quit hockey

PUBLICATION

Dorin Canaday
January 5, 2023 (11:53)

SHARE THIS STORY

Linus Ullmark is arguably the front-runner for the Vezina Trophy right now, as the Bruins goaltender is having a career year at age 29.

However, his tenure with the Bruins almost never happened; in fact, his NHL career was nearly over a couple of years ago. Ullmark recently appeared in an interview with Amalie Benjamin of NHL.com, and he shared how a family matter had him very close to quitting hockey and moving back home.

Back in 2014, Ullmark was named the best goaltender in Sweden's HockeyAllsvenskan league the season prior and was preparing to leave for North America to join the Buffalo Sabres organization.

However, his play was declining fast, and it had little to do with what was happening on the ice. As per Benjamin:

''I was frustrated," he said. ''I sat down and I think that [goaltending coach Maciej Szwoch] asked me, really open, like, 'How is it? What are you thinking?' And then everything just overflowed.''

Ullmark had discovered that his father, Jan-Olof, was struggling with alcoholism, and he didn't know for how long.

''I came off a great year, goalie of the year, a lot of expectations. Everything went [south]. That was when my roughest point was.''

"I said, 'I don't know what to do. I have no idea what to do. I was thinking about quitting. I was very close to quitting and just moving home.''

Ullmark stated how he spoke to a psychiatrist to help share his overwhelming feelings and that he had no memory of his father having issues with alcohol when he was a child. It all seemed to start with his older brother moving away.

The grief was simply too much:

''Especially when you're away, and you feel responsible. But at the same time, like what they said, he is my dad. I'm not his dad. He is supposed to take care of me. I'm not supposed to take care of him. So I have my own [stuff]. They have their [stuff]. I can't be worrying about their [stuff] when I have my stuff to worry about. But that was a process.''

Sadly, Jan-Olof passed away in January of 2021, and the Bruins goaltender now has two children of his own. He'd like to think his father was in recovery on the day he died, but he honestly doesn't know.

''It's kind of a blur, in the sort of way that your brain is protecting you from bad memories. I know these things, the times when we went there, and I found things and I confronted him. But I can't tell you what year it was; I can't tell you what month it was. And I can't tell you when it started. That's something that only he knew.''

''And I can't tell you for sure when he stopped. Did he stop? I don't know. I wasn't home very much. I have two kids. Those sort of things you can only speculate in. In my mind, I try to protect myself, saying that he was recovering all the way until he passed. That's what I live with. That's my truth. But he was never hostile or anything towards me or any of us, what I know.''

Ullmark explained how his father's death was somewhat of a relief for him and his family, especially his mother.

''Daily life was a little bit easier. Because I didn't have to subconsciously worry all the time. And then I knew that my mom was in a good place as well. She didn't have to worry about all the other things as well, and she could focus on herself. It [stinks] to lose your life partner -- it's the worst thing that can happen, except for your kids -- but at the end of the day, that's life.''

Combined with therapy, Ullmark noted that the Boston Bruins organization has been completely supportive through everything, which has been a major factor in the season he's having.

An absolutely amazing piece of writing from Amalie Benjamin! The entire article can be found in the link below.

SOURCE: Amalie Benjamin, NHL.com, Ullmark thrives with Bruins years after struggling with dad's alcoholism